Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, “I have no pleasure in them.”
(Ecclesiastes 12:1)
“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.”
(Matthew 21:28-31)
I was at the Penrith show on Saturday, and I spotted a young child (maybe 3) clinging tightly to a balloon, in the shape of a sausage dog, that her parents had bought her. They looked like they were having fun, and being there with my own children, I could well imagine the conversation leading to the purchase of the balloon. The child, no doubt, had desired it greatly. So, the parents had bought it, and now the child had it in her hands. Her desire gratified, her want no longer present, for what she had wanted, she now had.
And I thought of my father, and how I have become like him. For it was always the case, when I was growing up, that I could never find anything to buy my dad, because he wanted nothing. Already he had most of what he desired, and so it is with me. When I was young, I wanted to be married. When I was young, I wanted to have my own house. When I was young, I wanted to have children.
Now, in my middle age, I no longer desire those things like I used to, because now God - in his characteristic generosity - has given them to me. My wants have long been satisfied. My cup overflows.
And yet…
There is a pleasure in wanting something. Longing for it. I can remember, and I see it in my children, the longing for their birthday to arrive. I no longer have that longing, and I miss it.
There is a real pleasure in desiring something, and waiting for it in an anticipation, and then receiving it.
So I have been thinking about what it is that I desire. What is it that I want, more than anything else? What is it that I want to look forward to?
And it occurs to me that what I want most, more than anything else, is to be praised.
But not just by anyone.
I chatted about this on Saturday with my children around the lunch table. Does it matter who praises you?
Is the praise I receive from my son different from (or have a different value) than the praise I receive from my father, or my friend?
I think there is a difference. An employee wants to be praised by his boss. I suppose civil servants want to receive ‘honours’ from the King, because they are a form of praise.
More than anything, I want to receive God’s praise. I want him to say of me, “Ian Cameron, well, he’s a son of mine. A good son, I am pleased with all he’s done. I am proud of him.” I want God to say that of me to others.
And to me I want him to say, “Well done son, I’m proud of you. You did well when you forgave ‘X’ after what he said. You did well to love ‘Y’ when he treated you so badly. You did well when you provided all that you provided for ‘Z’ because you loved me, and so you loved her.”
While thinking on all these things, I picked up a book I’d read last December. In it the author mentioned the following about ‘desire.’ I must have read this six months ago, but I'd forgotten all about this section. He wrote, “Desire comes from two words. ‘De’ meaning of or from, and ‘sire’ meaning father or progenitor.”
What we desire comes from our father. So if I desire to be bitter towards someone, then its because I am spending time thinking like the father of bitterness. But if I desire to be generous or kind towards someone, then that desire comes from spending time with, and wanting to be like, the father of generosity and kindness.
Well, these are still thoughts in progress, but I don’t want years to come in which I say, ‘I take no pleasure in them.’ I want all my years to be filled with pleasure.
For that to happen I must have my desires fulfilled, and the desire I most want fulfilled is for my Heavenly Father to praise me.
And He will surely praise me for doing his will, but not for not doing it.
And so it becomes easier and more purposeful to love Him with all my heart, strength, soul and mind, and to love my neighbour as myself. Because I know He’ll praise me for that, and His praise is what I desire.
It becomes easier to forgive others, because I know He will praise me for that, even if others don’t.
“Well done son - I’m proud of you.”
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