Sometimes people hope and pray for things, and its right we do so, because only the Lord can help us with our request. But what if the answer comes back as ‘no’ - ‘no, I have plans for you that you don’t know yet. But that thing you are hoping for will not come to pass. Yet, will you still follow me?’ This was the case with C.S. Lewis. He prayed his mother might live, but she didn’t. So his faith was hindered by the unanswered prayer.
We may think, prayer doesn’t work. But the truth is, it’s not prayer that doesn’t work, it's simply that God quite often says no. Those of us with children will know how often we say no to our children, yet it does not mean we don’t love them. We need to be aware that unanswered prayers can hinder us, because the thing we want is very precious to us. But it seems to me that the Lord deliberately doesn’t respond to our petitions on many occasions, and this might be because he’s teaching us to trust him, or he’s testing our faith to see if we’ll stay close to him even in adversity (because he does not want fair-weather friends), or even because he’s disciplining us, because we have not yet learnt a valuable lesson.
Unanswered prayers are often disappointing. Sometimes though, we are grateful, in hindsight, that prayers have not been answered. And it is certainly true that unanswered prayers and various disappointments in life can do one thing that answered prayers can never do. They give us an opportunity to show God we will trust him even in disappointment.
Hopes
What might we hope for, in the face of disappointments? How do we overcome the disappointment of a lost friendship, or relationship, or an unrealised goal? Looking at the big picture - Firstly, lets remember our purpose in life is to bring glory to God, not for some other reason. It is easy to take the good gifts that God has given us, and accidentally turn them into idols. A good wife is from the Lord, but it's not difficult for a man to start living for his wife instead of for God. It’s worth thinking carefully about how we glorify him amidst disappointments.
Has God allowed a disappointment to happen because we have wandered off the path and started desiring something more than we should do? Often the thing we hope for, we want, is because we feel it will give us some status and some identity. When I was a teenager I failed to make the First XV rugby squad. I was very disappointed. But why did I want to be in the team? It was for the prestige. If someone had come alongside me and said ‘you know what Ian, it doesn’t matter that you’re not in the team. God still values you and is looking out for you, and it must be the case he has other plans for you — that is why you’ve not made the team this year’ that would have been a big help. When we live for God’s glory, then our disappointments can be used for him. Because its in adversity that our real commitment to God is made clear. One of Israel’s prophets shows us this:
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
(Habakkuk 3.17)
Habakkuk says he will rejoice in the Lord no matter what. Habakkuk sees the big picture. He lives for God’s glory. And that is, I think, one of the hopes God has for us, when we experience a disappointment.
Secondly, lets remember that God disciplines his children, and no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but later it produces a harvest of righteousness. In hindsight we can see God working for our good where at the time we did not understand. The lesson is that we are a work of art in God’s hands. Clay in the master potter’s spinning wheel, living stones fashioned by the master mason. Now a work of art may not always be treated kindly, but it is treated lovingly by the artist. The master artist may rub out and restart various times on his life’s work, not because he has made a mistake but because the artwork is not yet what he wants it to be. If we were the painting we might rather the artist didn’t spend so much time on us, but God is not making a sketch for a child, but a work of art. So we may have to start again — getting rid of sins and idols that have crept in unawares. But its God’s hope, or expectation, to make us into the image of Jesus. Clones of Jesus, if you like.
This happens in space and time, and disappointments may well be part of the creative process.
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In a busy world with many options before you, thanks for taking the time to read this blog. I really appreciate it. Today, may the Lord bless you and keep you, may he make his face to shine upon you, may he lift you up and give you peace.
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